Still Crazy Shit; Smaller Ass; Further Reflections

I deleted the last entry. It Just Wasn't Right. I shouldn't talk about people so negatively, even if they occasionally terrorize me.

Also I don't think I got to the heart of the situation: How even a seemingly-supportive comment can set off feelings of inadequacy, even paranoia. This week three (3) other people (female) also commented on alleged weight loss. I accepted and appreciated their compliments but also started to feel self-conscious. Considering I'm really trying to drop more weight, and always have felt some degree of ambivalence toward my stature, the comments set off some weird thought spirals. I actually entertained the thought that they might just be fucking with my head.

It appears as if I've regressed to seeing everything through the lens of day camp circa 1982.

But this is what always happens -- a wave of insecurity, and then an upsurge of energy.

Save the date: the record will be released January 25!