It's . . . Celebrity Weekend!

Wow, kids! This weekend was a wirlwhind of fun. A Truly. Heady. Experience.

First, energized by the warm breezes (and pine sol, from mopping my floor in an early a.m. frenzy), I sashayed off to hit the bake sales on the Lower East Side. I stepped up to the line of hipsters snaking down the block from Teany. Rumor had it that Al Franken was going to be selling muffins there, and dammit, I wanted to pinch his cheeks and tell him how much I enjoy having him as my steady lunch date.

A lot of young people were milling around in expensive sunglasses, perfectly unkempt hair, and t-shirts with clever slogans. My hair was unkempt, but in the bad way. However, I strengthened my resolve on the grounds that I am certain Bush must get flushed in November, and I'm happy to give my money to the cause. And boy, did it pay off! Unfortunately Señor Franken was taking a pee break when it was time for me to order. But who was sitting there in his stead but Reverend Al Sharpton! And wait, there's Moby! Vanilla with chocolate frosting, please!

I bought a bottle of water from the non-celebrity bake sale around the corner and ate and drank in the shade. Democracy never tasted so good -- or looked so fabulous.