Ah, it's been so long since I had an encounter with a true blue New York wankah-boy. But now that the weather's warmed up, they're out and they're swarming.
I was on line at the salad shoppe: A former culinary mainstay, now reduced to an occasional indulgence due to recent budget cutbacks. The line spilled out on to the sidewalk. 2 guys stepped up behind me.
"Yo, do you think we have to wait on line." Pulls out cell phone. "Dude, we're outside, waiting on line like LOSERS."
The cell phone barks back like the teacher on Peanuts: wah-wah-wah-WAH-wah-wah.
"He says we ARE losers!" Guffaw, guffaw. Snaps shut cell phone.
Other Guy: "Dude what do you think of that."
"Bad outfit." I notice a trendoid fashion girl on sidewalk, wearing satin knicker-cargos and kitten heel boots. "But the bod makes up for it."
I wonder: if I offed them both, could I get a cool nickname like the Salad Shooter?
Yeah, I know: just jealous. Of the boots, at least. I swore off knickers in the fourth grade. Duh!
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